Art Whore

Ramsey’s Rants – Ewoking Dead figure by ‘Killer Bootlegs’


  • Artist(s) – Peter Goral of ‘Killer Bootlegs
  • Name – Ewoking Dead
  • Year – 2013

…kick-back, and bear witness to Ramsey’s Rant about the carded Ewoking Dead figures – overseen by Ramsey’s loving father Kevin – below…

K) We got 2 of these guys. What do you think about them? *holds up the 2013 New York Comic Con + 2013 Designer Con versions*

R) They kind of look the same.

K) They do! They do kind of look the same. Cept different colors. This ones got a red card and a brown Ewok (the 2013 NY Comic Con version), and this ones got a blue card and a grey Ewok (the 2013 Designer Con version).

(Picture below of both versions of the Ewoking Dead carded figure)


R) *a little bit spooked* …the Ewoking Dead?

K) The Ewoking Dead!

R) Like ‘The Walking Dead’?

K) Like The Walking Dead! Yr right. And like Ewoks In ‘Star Wars’, the little furry guys. So they’re like Zombie Ewoks.

R) What are Ewoks?

K) Remember the little furry guys in Star Wars?

R) *silence*

K) We’ll watch it again!

R) hmmm

K) See that little pink nose! It’s pretty cool huh?

R) *enthusiastically* HmmmHmmm!

K) And if we take (the figure) out of the package. I think there arms move!

*Kevin THINKS about taking figures out of the bubble, but ultimately the OCD collector mentality wins, and the toys stay in the package*

R) *said softly and with a hint of horror* How did he make the blood?

K) It’s a certain kind of paint that makes it look like real blood!

R) *excitedly* Can we take ‘em out of the pack?

K) Uhhhhh not these! Maybe one day we’ll get one that’s outta the pack…

R) *very disappointed* Hmmmm……

K) Did you see the back? See he signed em for us too!

(Picture below of the Ewoking Dead card-back)


R) Hmmmm!

K) Do you want me to read it to you?

R) HmmmHmmm!

K) *reading from the card-back*

“Driven by an insatiable hunger for Jedi flesh the Ewoks on the planet Endor shuffle lifelessly about. The haunting look in there eyes and the dried blood of stormtroopers crusted to their fur serve the living as a warning to either run or prepare to fight an undead army of furry flesh eating Ewoks.”

R) Flesh?

K) Flesh! Like skin, skin and muscles.

R) *squeals*

K) It’s funny huh?

R) *laughter*

K) Do you like ‘em?

R) MmmmHmmm! *in approval*
 Did the same guy make em both?

K) Yep. ‘Killer Bootlegs’! Remember that blue shirt that you wear to bed like a night-gown?

R) HmmmHmmm!

K) …that’s the guy that made these! The guy who gave you that shirt made these.

R) Hmmmm!

K) Would you play with them if we had them out of the package?

R) UhhhhHuhhh! *seems annoyed the toys are still in the package!*

(close up picture below of the Ewoking Dead figures trapped in their plastic bubble)


K) Would you play with them alongside your ‘Monster High’ stuff?

R) Yeah!

The Art Whore Summery

Ramsey LOVES the Ewoking Dead figures, and wishes she could free them and play with them alongside her other favorite toys, ‘Monster High‘. Sadly though, due to Kevin’s OCD toy collector affliction, the furry flesh eating Ewoks remained trapped in their plastic bubble prison.

Will Ramsey disobey her father and free the Ewoks and have them frolicking with her ‘Monster High’ toys? Who knows…


N.B: to send any work to Ramsey for review, please email Ramsey’s father Kevin –

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